‘Twas the night before Christmas…

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land, not a teacher was stirring, on their journey to dreamland. The stockings were hung with precision and care…in the hopes that some more booze would be waiting in there.

The teachers were nestled, all snug in their beds, tomorrow they’d surely be nursing sore heads! For this is the time, when all teachers will dine, several nights in the week, with a few bottles of wine.

When inside the house, arose such a clatter, the teacher got up to see what was the matter. Away down the stairs, she flew like a flash, to find someone nebbing in her stationery stash.

The lights twinkling bright on the Christmas tree decs, shining down on the scene where the teacher had been led. A jolly old man was all covered in snow, his face was a picture when he realised the show. 

The teacher glared at him in despair and disgrace, as embarrassment fell upon the intruder’s face. He looked just like Santa but she knew the truth, then suddenly, she had an idea about what to do…

“Before you even begin to think you can lie, you should know that we are both on the same side. Tell me why you are looting my felt pens and glitter? Or I’ll drop the pretence for the darling sweet critters!”

He knew he should fess up and ask for her help, but his stomach was churning as he let slip a yelp. He’d been caught in the act so he looked at his toes. The teacher just glared and lifted her nose…

The teacher asked questions as the poor man denied, he wasn’t a thief, although he had tried to jazz up his ride on a December budget, the paint job and new hub caps, just wouldn’t cut it.

He needed more sparkle, more glitter and shine, to make his sleigh look like he’d pimped out his ride. When the old man confessed, he rambled in a fluster. The teacher simply sighed “Well, you are in luck Sir,

The past week I’ve spent doing crafts and activities, whilst winding down for the Christmas festivities. Don’t worry, we’ll have your sleigh decked out in no time. All it will cost you is a bottle of moscato wine.”

The old man accepted her offer quite freely, getting past this one was becoming quite easy. He watched as she worked away on his sleigh, and a box of gifted chocolates, he sneakily tucked away.

The glitter and ribbons were flying around, she didn’t seem to care for the mess on the ground. The old man was nosey and looked under the tree, scrambling on the floor, on his hands and his knees. 

Searching for valuables and costly items to sell, this burglary stint was going quite well. He’d make loads of cash in no time at all, who says that you need to go to school?

Now the teacher was keeping her cool and on plan, carried on jazzing up his burglary van. Little did he know, with eyes in the back of her head, she’d been onto him since she had jumped out of bed.

She could tell he was lying from the way that he spoke, and knew that he thought of her, some kind of joke. Needless to say, he soon would regret it, this teacher had well and truly perfected…

The act of ignorance with a beady eye, if teaching failed, she could be an international spy. She’d called the police whilst she crafted away, he’d be going to jail, she was happy to say.

Once she’d finished, she smiled and nodded her head, as the man stepped outside and was filled with dread. His van had been covered in glitter and diamonds, in the distance he could hear the sure sound of sirens.

There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, as the teacher’s grin started to grow rather wide. She’d dialled 999, whilst she was busy outside, knowing full well that the slimeball had lied.

He wasn’t Santa, she knew that too well, but her belongings she didn’t want him to sell. Even though her mum thinks her a hoarder, to let him get away with this, was just out of order…

The policeman arrived and arrested the man, and laughed when he caught sight of the van. What Saint Nick hadn’t realised  as he raided her house, the teacher had wickedly sussed him out. 

She’d slashed all four tyres and disposed of the keys, making it tricky to escape with ease. The policeman pushed him into the back of the car as the offender’s innocent proclamations began to start…

“It’s no use,” the teacher insisted. “Unfortunately for you, you have been blacklisted. You’ve tried to steal from me and committed a crime, now you must own up and do the time.”

She waved the car off and walked back into the warmth, ‘there’s my good deed for the year,’ she thought. She locked the front door and went back to bed, falling fast asleep as the pillow hugged her head.

Before she fell asleep into a slumber so deep, she lifted her head to take a quick peep. With silence in the house, she turned off the light. Whispered “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

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