“Don’t pick your nose.”

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve told children to stop picking their nose. Especially his lordship. 

My dad used to tell my younger sister, our cousins and I that if we picked our noses, we might pull the wrong string and our eyes would fall out. I say this to children in school and I get one of two reactions. Defiance or horror. 

The defiant face looks at you, as the finger is lifted back towards the nostril and buried deep into the cavity before it is pulled out again, dragging a slimy string of sloppy snot. You can almost guarantee that the finger is instantaneously directed towards the mouth where the sloppy snot is sucked off the finger like melted chocolate on a summer’s day. 

The horrified face draws the finger down as the owner looks around to check the faces on children around it. Thoughts like ‘really?’, ‘Is it true?’ and ‘Oh my goodness!’ start running through their worried mind. Occasionally, there is a nervous chuckle when they think that you’re joking but if you look at them with your best poker face, the horror is quick to return and they start to back away slowly. 

Only once has a child surprised me in this situation with a different response, when they asked me “why do bogies taste so nice then?” I threw up a little bit in my mouth and backed away slowly. Luckily, my supply of hand sanitizer was plentiful so I grabbed a bottle and squeezed half the contents into my palm. 

Why are children so grosse? Especially the boys?! It’s no wonder teachers are always sick due to the amount of germs floating around. I’m currently recovering from a cold that was given to me, by my wonderful gremlins last week. I’m trying so hard to not think about the bogies and germs infecting every single item of stationery in my classroom. I have thought about buying a can of anti bac spray to disinfect every surface and inch of breathing space in the room. Is that too over the top? I’m even sure it’s safe to spray on the children too! No? Ok then. 

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